According to psychology today, unlearning is “stripping away the beliefs and ways to act/behave/live that have been imposed by our upbringing, by our education, by the society we live in”.
In Nigeria, for instance, there is an expectation on the pattern of life that an average human being born into a family with access to financial resources should follow. The person should attend school until bachelor’s degree level, work a little, get married, have kids, work more to fend for the family, retire (if lucky), and die.
In terms of earning a degree, parents tend to favor science subjects and impose their preferences on the children, even when a child’s performance shows they should study something else. One of the arguments is that the rigor faced when undertaking science subjects bring some discipline that art subjects don’t give. People also believe that persons in the science field have higher earnings.
For marriage, society is often unwilling to allow young men and women to take time in preparing themselves for such commitment. They are often asked to hurry once a conjured age range has been attained. The same pressure reappears when a couple is yet to have children. They are coerced to go to all lengths to have children, with a preference for children born from a wife’s womb.
These beliefs pass from one generation to the next. The moment you achieve one activity, you join others to pressurize someone else to achieve it too, without considering whether it’s good for a person at that time or not.
The intentions appear good, but there is a loss of human dignity in the process. How can we restore human dignity by unlearning this current pattern to life? My experience has shown me that unlearning is quite difficult.
Would it be easier to change people’s beliefs by changing some systems in society? For example, Could there be the digitization of the educational system in a way that places children automatically in their respective fields based on performance, without interference?
Could the Government prioritize honoring achievements by individuals that bring solutions to societal problems in such a way that families would encourage their young wards to achieve more, irrespective of marital status? Could the process for adopting children be less cumbersome with the Government providing some sort of incentive, to make it a top consideration for families irrespective of fertility issues?
