Beauty in Minding Your Business

 “…Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands…” 1 Thessalonians 4:11

It is possible to confuse being aware of one’s surroundings, which might be like situational awareness, with not minding one’s business. A quick search on the internet brought up some interesting definitions of minding one’s business (See Table).

Definition of Minding One’s Business

Not to interfere in someone else's affairs; Not to pry or be nosy.       To concern oneself only with what is of interest to oneself; to take care of one’s issues        Setting oneself free from the thinking and beliefs of other people.         Focusing on what one can control and letting go of what one can’t.

It is no surprise that the quote from 1 Thessalonians 4:11 combined the three issues of living a quiet life, minding one’s business, and working with one’s hands because they go together. To live a quiet life, one must mind one’s business and fend for oneself. Otherwise, others will interfere in your life, and it won’t be quiet. Similarly, when one minds one’s business, it will be likely that your life would be quiet because you’re not interfering in the lives of others, hence a deterrent for others to interfere in yours. Also, you’ll most likely be fending for yourself because you like to take care of your issues.

There is beauty in minding your business:

       You live according to your means.

       You would stop comparing yourself to others.

       You will appreciate your life and start to see beauty all around you.

           You will appreciate both little and big things.

           You would be full of gratitude.

           You move at your pace, hence, less stress and worry in your life.

           You are less likely to procrastinate because you have maximum time.

    You will be full of confidence because you’ve accepted who you are and what you can do within your limits. 

      You will discover yourself and your talents because you’re spending time on yourself.

      You are less likely to get angry because you have fewer quarrels and you know yourself. 

      I will continue to work towards making it a habit to mind my business. I'm looking forward to developing more meaningful relationships.

P.S.

Listen to the song titled "Beauty" by Bez Idakula feat. The Cavemen.

KosisoChukwu — Unlearning Beliefs to Restore Human Dignity

According to psychology today, unlearning is “stripping away the beliefs and ways to act/behave/live that have been imposed by our upbringing, by our education, by the society we live in”. 

In Nigeria, for instance, there is an expectation on the pattern of life that an average human being born into a family with access to financial resources should follow. The person should attend school until bachelor’s degree level, work a little, get married, have kids, work more to fend for the family, retire (if lucky), and die. 

In terms of earning a degree, parents tend to favor science subjects and impose their preferences on the children, even when a child’s performance shows they should study something else. One of the arguments is that the rigor faced when undertaking science subjects bring some discipline that art subjects don’t give. People also believe that persons in the science field have higher earnings. 

For marriage, society is often unwilling to allow young men and women to take time in preparing themselves for such commitment. They are often asked to hurry once a conjured age range has been attained. The same pressure reappears when a couple is yet to have children. They are coerced to go to all lengths to have children, with a preference for children born from a wife’s womb. 

These beliefs pass from one generation to the next. The moment you achieve one activity, you join others to pressurize someone else to achieve it too, without considering whether it’s good for a person at that time or not.

The intentions appear good, but there is a loss of human dignity in the process. How can we restore human dignity by unlearning this current pattern to life? My experience has shown me that unlearning is quite difficult.

Would it be easier to change people’s beliefs by changing some systems in society? For example, Could there be the digitization of the educational system in a way that places children automatically in their respective fields based on performance, without interference? 

Could the Government prioritize honoring achievements by individuals that bring solutions to societal problems in such a way that families would encourage their young wards to achieve more, irrespective of marital status? Could the process for adopting children be less cumbersome with the Government providing some sort of incentive, to make it a top consideration for families irrespective of fertility issues?

 

KosisoChukwu — Introduction

I’ve not written on the blog since 2017, maybe because I spent a lot of time reading social media posts, and I felt there was nothing more to say. The ‘great lockdown’ brought about by the COVID-19 pandemic left a lot of time to reflect on one’s existence, which was the motivation I needed to write again. KosisoChukwu (KC) in the Igbo language means as it pleases God. It felt apt to use this title to pen down my reflections during the pandemic. There is no right or wrong, just thoughts…😊

Let It Be (Ko-di-li)

One of my favourite quotes i learnt from Secondary School is “Sitting still and wishing makes nobody great. The good Lord sends the fishing but you must dig the bait”. In other words, ‘action’ is key. 

It is this view that makes me restless and consumed with worry when i think i’m in a situation that doesn’t make sense or appears to be stifling. I remember one of my previous work experiences, many times i felt i was doing work that didn’t make sense and i couldn’t wait to leave. It later dawned on me after i began to settle into a new job that all i did in the past was useful. Some were useful for the new job..others for my personal growth. I find myself interested in political news, recognising names in the financial industry, able to contribute to supposed complex discussions, etc.

In view of this, i think we sometimes just need to ‘let things be’. In my Igbo dialect, we’ll say ‘Ko-di-li’. Given my restless nature, it’s ironic that is my name (though mine is ‘Kodilichukwu’ meaning: let it be to God) . Anyway, what I’ve learnt is that it will all make sense at the appropriate time. I hope this view stands the test of time. Lol.

Key Lessons for 2017

Yeah Yeah… I’ve come again with writing articles only at the beginning of the year and disappearing afterwards. I can’t even promise it won’t happen again… Anyway, I thought I should share with you some things I learnt from 2016, which will put me in a better position in 2017.

1.    A lot of bad things can happen in one year. I don’t know about you, but I knew several people that died in 2016, and others that struggled to live through the economic recession. Therefore, endeavor to be prepared…spiritually, financially, etc.
2.     A  lot of good things can happen in one year. Several people completed academic programs, some got promoted in their jobs, others got new jobs and many got engaged and married. Therefore, don’t give up!
3.    It’s always good to pause before reacting or responding to people’s bad behavior or negative comments. Most times, insults or arguments are not just worth it.
4.   (Two) girls can actually live together in peace in one house contrary to the popular view that they will always fight. It’s all about showing respect for one another.
5.    Being stubborn does not pay. At the end, na you go suffer am!

To conclude, God is still God in spite of everything happening so let’s continue to praise him (Psalm 117 is very easy to memorize)

I pray that 2017 will be a year of fulfillment and may God direct us in His ways. Amen. 

Happy New Year!!!

It is Okay to start with Small Dreams

In our world today, there is a lot of emphasis on ‘dreaming big’ as a way of encouraging people to work harder towards reaching their potentials. However, this emphasis is sometimes a source of discouragement when it feels like we are not measuring up to expectations. Since little drops of water make the mighty ocean, it is also okay to start from having small dreams. For example, as an unemployed fresh graduate, it is okay to first dream of getting a job in a small organization rather than dream of working in the biggest company in the world. When things get better, you can then revise your expectations. This will prevent you from putting unnecessary pressure on yourself, whilst not forgetting to gather the experience needed to move up the ladder. 

But remember, it is better to have small dreams than not to dream at all! 

So… let us go forward in 2016 with anticipation and preparedness that will help us embrace opportunities. We should also give room for setbacks, which should not dissuade us but rather serve as a sign to reflect on the journey.

I have a gut feeling that 2016 is going to be a defining year in so many ways…a year real development in Nigeria can happen if our leaders put their minds, energy and limited resources to it…a year Arsenal can win the English Premier League if they play well consistently for the rest of the season (Yes yes…other clubs should not hate:)). 

I wish you all the best this year.

P.S

I have a book titled ‘What to do when it’s your Turn’ by Seth Godin, which I want to give out at no cost. You can send me an email if you are interested.

Will we all be rich?

I was chatting with a friend about small scale traders I see around my neighborhood. They keep selling their wares till late at night, sometimes up until 10:30pm. Yet, what I realize is that there is really not much progress in their lives. How did I know? My friend who left the country like 3 years ago asked me recently if the woman frying akara and the suya man were still selling around the neighborhood. My answer was yes, they’re still on the exact spot you left them. No expansion, nothing. And it’s really sad because they work hard, work late and yet, nothing. All they get is enough money to last them for a while, and probably to pay for their children’s school fees sometimes (Thank God for that!). No extra cash to expand, go into another business line, get a decent house, take a vacation…they can’t afford not to sell for one day. It got me thinking about what could be done to help these people rise above their current situation.

The first thing that comes to mind is that they need funding to help them expand. Unfortunately, it’s difficult to get funds from formal financial institutions without collateral; small businesses usually have no tangible assets to be used as collateral. Since small businesses are often not formally registered, it is hard for financial institutions to employ the services of credit bureaus to confirm their credit worthiness. Even when financial institutions lend, they do so at a high interest rate to cover up for the high risk from lending without adequate collateral.

Some micro-finance banks (MFBs) have somewhat broken through the ‘collateral barrier’ by disbursing money to groups of small businesses (rather than individuals) and money is repaid as a group. This way, group members monitor each other to ensure they make their contributions in order to avoid bearing the burden of another person’s loan if a member absconds. Even though there are over 700 MFBs in Nigeria, it is still inadequate to cater for the needs of all small businesses. Besides, some of these MFBs have operated fraudulently in the past, which causes distrust amongst other issues.

I think this is an important issue the new government should look into to help fight poverty. The government’s proposal to distribute N5000 monthly is unlikely to yield any meaningful results especially at this time of dwindling government revenues (Some state governments can hardly pay salaries, so where will the money come from?) I believe if the government prioritizes its spending and focuses on bridging the infrastructure gap including fixing electricity, it will create an enabling environment that can go a long way to help. Perhaps, the suya man can also start selling cold drinks to go with the suya if there is reliable power supply. Creating an enabling environment gives everyone an opportunity to make the best of life.

What do you guys think?


Two Other Unrelated Issues

Enforcing Law through Awareness
It’s painful when you’re punished for a crime you weren’t aware of. I think the first response should be to make the culprit aware that what they have done is wrong and show them the right way. You can punish the person if they fail to comply afterwards.

Did you know that it is compulsory by law for professional drivers in Lagos to go through the Lagos State Drivers Institute (LASDRI) for training, after which the driver will be issued a sort of certification card that looks like the regular drivers’ license? That is, professional drivers ought to have the regular drivers’ license and a LASDRI card. Well, I just found out recently after a professional driver I know was asked to pay a fine 20 times the cost of the LASDRI card (N1000), even after explaining that he wasn’t aware of this rule. Whilst I commend the LASDRI initiative as its aim is to ensure that professional drivers are properly trained and reduce road accidents, I think there is need to create more awareness instead of blindly punishing people. To add to the wahala, you’ll still pay tax on the fine, which is sometimes more than the fine.

If you are the owner of a vehicle or you don’t get paid to drive someone then you’re safe and don't need the LASDRI card. If you know of any professional driver (your driver, your parents’ driver, etc), kindly pass this message. You can check out their website at www.lasdri.org


Don’t talk about everything
When a celebrity is in the limelight because of some negative news, it’s tempting to judge them and speak out your mind. Sometimes it’s necessary for correction but other times it is unnecessary. Personally, I feel the fact that some kind of bad news got leaked is embarrassing enough for the celebrity in question. Adding your own insults can sometimes be really cruel. So the next time you’re tempted to insult a celeb, please remember that they too are human beings (As M.I and Tu-baba sang) so they make mistakes.